Main Journal

Return

Day 1

well, I guess today was alright. I mean I'm currently sitting in a really broken car with one of the new people I met. Well he's kinda sleeping, and I don't do that so I'm just doing one of my still cycles. Though it doesn't seem too bad so far.

Met a decent few today, first we have Babs, she's kinda big like me and we got sent to find some Cartel people who were nabbing and selling people.

Then about killed Jesse when he stepped out the truck we were after, might need to invest in getting him some non-homless looking clothes if I'm staying in this group for the long run.

Then there's Mokuzu, of whom I said yes to being her best friend... (which I'm still trying to decide if that was a bad idea or not). Though she seems sweet long as you're on her good side, I'll take a win where I can get one.

Oh yeah there's also the really pitiful moth... Think his name is Whispers? Yeah he thought I was light, and then like started going nuts at the sun. Kinda odd I guess?

Then there's Sins, who can see magic and stuff because of having killed his patron. He called me out for being a Fae, which I don't really care. Plus not like I really sit here and really and do magic, not like my parents were around to teach me all that.

Uh then there's L0ckjaw, He was kinda baffled when I said I didn't know who he was? Don't know why I'm mean to know exactly who he is.

Oh also Zyffrin, yeah uh he straight up blinded me when I opened that damned semi-truck. I mean seems nice as hell, but Blinding as all hell. He also offered me food but I don't eat so I kindly declined his offer.

And yeah I think that's really it...

though on an off note Judging by how scrawny Jesse is, me not sleeping is good. I mean everyone else seems to kinda be just sat in their own little huddles. I'm guessing this group works on like a buddy system. Since I don't sleep, I think me making sure nothing attacks him is a good idea.

Fallout knife pointing down

Day 2

Well, I attacked Sins today after having gotten to the city. I mean honestly it wasn't really me, my body did it but I wasn't the one controling it if that makese sense? but I remember all of it and feel horrible for it still. Mokuzu thought I'd done it intentionally, don't know if she still thinks that, but I hope not. First real fucking friend I've had in a really long time, don't want to loose that over something I didn't actually do.

Then I kinda freaked out after we'd left the town, maybe this was all just karma for actually stealing a name for the first time, I don't know how it works properly, I never had fae parents to teach me.

Some times I really wish I could sleep, then I could just rest and not think about it anymore. Not think about how Jesse had to come check on me, about how I fucking hurt one of the group, about how I might've just fucked up my first real friendship, about how I'm not normal and never will be.

I'm just gonna try and zone out for a bit, maybe that'll help a bit.

Fallout knife pointing down

Day 3

Well, today was eventful to say the least, I really don't know where to start, but we started by going into the city again, we knew we needed to find the Kin, Helen said that they were located in a mechanic shop because their car broke down. Whisp decided to try and ask a guy in the town where it was, well the guy clearly thought he was going to get flashed by this moth- So he tried to run off, but it didn't work because I caught up to him, and we got the location of the mechanic shop.

We went in talked with the guy, well then the mechanic called his robot friend a not so nice robot slur. [With the hard 'R' may I add.] So the kin killed him with one hit. Oh yeah, then we had to fight a bunch of law enforcement in the town, I got tazed for the first time, then Jesse and whisper saved my skin, Mokuzu sent the guy flying through the wall. Oh yeah, sins also hit a guy like a massive golf ball, L0ckjaw failed to throw sand at someone, Jesse did his spell stuff, Babs ripped someones heart out their chest, and all that good stuff.

trying to recall the other stuff... Oh yeah, then we all got into the car of the kin, and that thing shoots off like a mother fucker, the wheels didn't even slide, kinda weird honestly, not the kind of tech I'm used to if I'm being honest. Oh also Zyff did some weird shit where he was like using a flying star to transport himself? I don't know honestly, it's weird.

Also, I think that maybe, this might be a group who won't cast me out for what I am. Jesse slept pretty normal with me in the tent last night, so I don't think he worries about my Fae nature... That's honestly kinda comforting in it's own weird way.

Mokuzu seemed to take it pretty hard when I got tazed, so maybe that's something too, more shocked she did anything, feel like I scared the shit out of her when I got charmed yesterday.

Jesse seems to be getting more comfortable, he put his head on my shoulder in the car, but that could be for a number of reasons, I am a walking ball of fluff, I mean, any moron can take one look at me and know my shoulder would probably be the best pillow. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that it couldn't have just been practicality.

Who am I kidding, probably was only for being practical, even the hunters just pretended they were comfortable around me, but I knew they hated fae deep down, as much as they were meant to be my family, they knew what I was. Maybe that's why Celine told me to leave, a way to open my eyes to what I was, and how she maybe didn't want her successor. Probably thought I wasn't good enough. or that I'd hurt the other humans in the group.

You know, I really need to stop getting my hopes up about making friends, I know it'll likely end in me being alone again at the end of the day. I mean I want to believe that this group is different, they didn't kick me out instantly, they don't really seem to care what I am. Though... I guess it wouldn't hurt to pretend for a little while... Might help with still kinda missing Remmy, I don't know, maybe I'm just a lost cause. Maybe I should've listened when he told me to disobey Celine's wish and stay, but then again... that was my mama, I couldn't do that to her, not in her final moments.

You know what, no. I'm just going to let myself believe for a little while, there's no harm in pretending at the end of the day, right? ...right...? I feel like I'm just sounding more and more insane every day that passes. Not that it really matters, no one's going to read this, or look back at it. They'd have to steal the thing from me, or honestly just ask, I feel like I'm really at a point that I might just hand it over. I feel too tired to care anymore.